Ask good questions: How is your heart?

September 19, 2011 · 2 comments

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by Kristen Narara

The last weeks of my pregnancy were tedious.

I would be lying if I said I was a little impatient during that time.

I had convinced myself that my baby would be at least one week early and I planned everything around that expectation. But he didn’t come early. He came two days late.

And if it wasn’t for four little words received via SMS every day during that stressful wait, I think I may have lost the plot:

“How is your heart?”

My friend has an amazing ability to intentionally encourage me with gospel truth in almost every interaction I have with her.

Rather than only ask me the typical questions one would ask a heavily pregnant friend – such as “How are you feeling?”or “Any contractions yet?” or “Are you still pregnant?!” – my friend deliberately and lovingly made it a point to ask about my heart and then pointed me to the gospel.

So often we ask or get asked, “How are you?”, only for the expected response of, “I’m fine.”

But how often do we really, specifically, and intentionally ask our friends how they are doing?

God wants us to be accountable and intentional in our relationships with other believers. His Word instructs us to “spur each other on to love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24).

And to “confess your sins 
to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” (James 5:16).

I want to have friendships that are deep, honest and God-glorifying.

So I’m going to take a leaf out of my friend’s book and start asking my girlfriends, “How is your heart?” and be armed with the gospel in my response:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— 6and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:4-10

What are some other specific questions that you could intentionally ask your friends to learn about how they are really doing?

Kristen was born in Papua New Guinea and grew up in Australia (incidentally, with Samantha). Now Kristen lives in Dubai with her husband, Nigel (aka Captain Nigel), who is an airline pilot, and their gorgeous baby boy Kingston (aka Sprout). Kristen is well known for her outstanding baking skills and hospitality, and can turn any stranger into her friend for life.


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Lauren February 24, 2013 at 1:23 am

Thanks for sharing a gospel- centered greeting alternative!


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